haiku: greive not

Grieve not it's passing
For pleasure and joy are but
as a snowy yard.

Life Changing Events

The question was raised: Was there an event that radically changed your life?

No. There isn't any single event that stands out as a point where I was different afterwards. Instead my life has proceeded like that game where there's a board that stands upright, or nearly so, with pegs all over and a marble is dropped and bounces around as it proceeds. Each peg causes a slight change in direction but nothing radical. No peg will send the marble to the other side of the board or back towards the top.

Divorce, marriage, job losses, making friends, losing friends, etc…all these things brought me to where this place (emotionally, physically, mentally, socially, etc…). But no single event stands out as significantly transformational

Poem: Unwinding

What would it take to wind
back the lost hour on the clock?
Before shoes were worn out
on a path to de-energized lethargy?
When clothes expressed eagerness
to get out the door to adventures,
and not threadbare,
to match a poorly hidden soul?

What would it take to unwind
all the corrosive hours to start anew?

Starting the Toastmaster Journey

Last week I joined a local Toastmaster group after visiting  few times over the holidays. For anyone who doesn't know, Toastmasters is a worldwide membership organization with the stated purpose of helping people learn public speaking. Several friends who are members have talked about how the group has helped them do just that, even leading to invitations to speaking at events and meetings.

There are ten projects, speeches, members are required to present in order to receive one of two recognitions: Competent Communicator. Appropriately the first one is the Ice Breaker, an introduction of oneself to the club.

By early March I need to figure out what to say. The first step may be to hit YouTube and see how other folks have handled it.

2012 - Review

On balance, Twenty-Twelve was a good year. Looking back it was a year of rest and some preparation.

One year ago my situation was that of a middle-aged, unemployed, Community College graduate with no prospects on the horizon. Every resume sent out was met with silence. Every call to employment agencies met with the same refrain: We can't place anyone without legal experience. Unemployment weeks could be measured in almost single digits.

Then January turned into February, and the unseasonably warm winter brought with it two contract opportunities in the procurement field. One was with an automotive company and the other with a local school district. After several interviews, I was offered a long term contract with the school district and have been there since. Where this is on my career journey, who can tell, but it's a chance to do something meaningful for the kids so I enjoy it.

For the rest of the year this allowed me to pay bills, buy thing, and save money. It's amazing what a mental relief that is after years of struggle and worry, and it made the whole year good even in the absence of other activities and adventures.

As with every year, I attended some social events. While normally a mixed bag for this Wallflower, they were fun and a good reason to leave the house and even resulted in my making a new potential friend.

 
But for every joy there is a matching sorrow. My oldest and best friend achieved ultimate independence on July 3: He passed away. For the first time since the early 1990's, that I remember, I broke down and cried. The number and variety of people who attended his memorial service were a testament that he was a caring, non-judgmental person. My life was better for having him in it.

Wednesday's Child: Lulu Worden

Lulu's is a sad story for a number of reasons. Being born in 1881 and died in 1888 she would be difficult to find if we didn't know where to look for her. She appears on no census and she is buried in a country cemetery in Hillsdale county, MI [Berg Cemetery].

Every memorial day the extended family would gather to tend the graves to remember and share the family lore. According to that family lore she six year old Lulu nursed the family through some epidemic (smallpox?) only to succumb herself when they had recovered.

Through a MI Genealogical Website, I located a death record (Lula...) that specified measles as the cause of death. Even though it makes for good graveside reminiscences, there's no way to verify the tale at this time.

Lulu Worden. Daughter of Clarissa Teachout & Louis Worden. b. 1881 - d 20 Mar 1888.

Oakland County Circuit Court Motion Day

An employed paralegal recently offered the advice to “hang out at the court” as a way to get exposure to both lawyers and court proceedings. So, one recent Wednesday morning, dressed up with jacket & tie and trekked out to the Oakland County complex, where the Sixth Circuit court operates.

Visiting various court building was a major part the OCC Paralegal program, so I knew that anything with a camera is strictly forbidden (ex. Phone, computers, etc…). Once inside the building it was hard to know which courtroom to choose out of, at least, the three floors.  The choice ended up being the second floor and I walked into the first courtroom after getting off the elevators.

The judge and her clerks were sitting at the front of the courtroom. When I walked in both plaintiff and defense tables were fully occupied and they were just getting started. It was amazing the speed with which these motions are dealt. There were a half dozen or so, but these were some of the more interesting.

This was a summary disposition motion being brought by everyone. Plaintiff was an insurance company seeking pro-rata payments from 5 defendants for a claim they had to pay involving a motorcycle / automobile accident.  The plaintiff claimed that the defendants represented 5 individuals who were “involved” in the accident. The Defendants all asserted that they were not actively involved in causing the accident. The short version is that the 5 defendants were stopped on the freeway due to construction when the automobile and motorcycle collided behind and then struck them. After everyone made their argument the judge read her opinion (granting the defense motions for summary judgment and denying the plaintiff’s) into the record.

Later there were motions in a cross-complaint. Pizza Restaurant “A” was being sued for payment by Supplier. Pizza Restaurant “A” then sues Pizza Restaurant “B” alleging that “B” pressured Supplier to sever their relationship. The oral arguments for summary disposition from Restauran B included, but were not limited to, claims that Restaurant “A” didn’t respond in timely fashion, didn’t respond completely, and that a sound business reason is a complete defense to a “tortuous interference with a business relationship” claim. Arguments from Restaurant A included, but were not limited to, that the allegation didn’t cover just illegal actions but also improper motives which was indicated because Restaurant A targeted the suppliers relationship with Restaurant B. The judge picked up and read her ruling into the record: Granting summary judgment for the 3^rd Party Defendant.

After a motion to adjourn the scheduled dates for 60 days on a mortgage forgery case, one of the attorneys stood to make a motion to admit a lawyer to the bar. Reciting an impressive biography of scholastic, extra-circular, and community achievements the other attorney concurred with the motion. The judge called the new lawyer to the bench, stood and applied the oath to the new lawyer. According to one source, this was not a unique event but was a special one to witness!

Divorce Judgment: “What Can I Do For You”

After the last civil case motion was heard I meandered down the hall to another courtroom that happened to be hearing family / divorce motions. This was more interesting because the judge was more inquisitive of the parties appearing in front of her, which were usually the actual individuals whose lives would be impacted by her rulings.

 The first motion was involving an ongoing custody situation where a young father was trying to get visitation with his son. The judge said that he was doing everything right and to keep it up.

But there was one issue that stuck out. The defendant’s attorney got up and started recounting the procedural history of the case stretching back to 2001 (“seven attorneys and four judges…”). Then he talked about the divorce judgment entered in 2001. The plaintiffs attorney talked about the dire condition of her client. The defendant talked about how his client had gone from a partner in a successful business to nearly broke today. Throughout, the judge pointed out that she didn’t have the ability to change the judgment of divorce and that neither party was in a particularly unique situations (“I’ve seen so many people in your position I could start a support group”).

“What can I do for you?” She would ask. The lawyers would then continue on their rants. Eventually, though a lot of back and forth in this way, the claim came out from one side that he still owed a couple hundred thousand dollars and his side was that he lacked the ability to pay it. So the final judgment was to schedule discovery and come back in 90 days, or so, and see what could be worked out.

All in all, the county circuit court was both interesting and informative. Taking the time and effort to go out and watch it in action is a good idea. If possible, becoming a regular there would also be a good idea for making initial and ongoing contacts. Can’t hurt to know court personnel, either. Maybe another good idea would be to check out the local district court, as it’s closer and easier to access.